And my feet hurt. I have more pictures to upload, but, alas, I don't know where the card reader is. I also have more things to see, but, really, my *feet hurt*.

So, I made the jump to Hardy while I was recovering from a quick walk to see Dvorak's grave. And... within 1 minute of the reboot, I found a bug. I report it to someone I felt could do something about it, and the louse tells me it's not his problem, to find Scott. Husbands. What are they good for anyway? Can't find Scott, and I don't trust my abilities to report a bug fully well. So, I sit here with poor support! Oh well, at least it didn't crash.

Next time I come to Prague, I must remember dental floss.

Ah well.

feeling: sleepy

Yesterday was girly day. I had my second ever pedicure (first was right before my wedding ~ 7 years ago). I was... fairly embarrassed to go upstairs to the in-hotel beauty salon to have it done, as my feet are extremely ugly, but the girl was very kind and extremely patient. She used this bottle-opener-looking device to peel off my hobbit skin, then proceeded to work on my nails and file my feet down. When she was done, my feet looked feminine! And they still do! They're so soft and smooth! I should do this more often!

Steve and I decided to go downtown for some dinner and wanderings. We had a couple of people we were dragging along. If you're wondering if this sounds familiar, I had my concerns of history repeating itself as well. So, I stood there with Lars waiting for Steve to get done talking to our host guide. A couple of guys noticed us waiting there with jackets on and asked if they could join us. Naturally, we respond, Lars with a smirk on his face. Don Armstrong noticed a group gathering near the staircase (us) and asked if he could tag along. Of course! There's always room for Don! So, he ran off to deposit his laptop in his room and get his jacket. While he was gone, a few more joined us, at which point I started getting fidgety, and Lars getting more amused. One of the guys asked what was so amusing, so he shared the story of the above-linked Daytrip planning. Steve made his way over, noticed the group that had gathered around Lars and me and gave me a look. I blinked back innocently at him and said, "I didn't do it. At least it's not 240 people." Don arrived and we headed down the stairs, picking up a couple more people as we went. All told, it was only 14 (phew), so it wasn't that hard to keep us together, but damn, it was funny.

We ended up at this *amazing* little pub. Ugh, I wish I could remember the name of it. The food was... oh my god. There is no way to describe the yum that I enjoyed last night. After some drinks and food, we wandered to St. Wencelas Square, looked at the astronomical clock tower, saw some amazing buildings and I finally ordered some ice cream in Czech! The server was immensely proud of my attempt and the other lady in line told me I did *very* well. Steve was way too amused. I have used my phrase. And, well, truth be told, it was gelato, but, shhhh. It was good.

I have pictures from last night, but unfortunately, I don't have my card reader. Steve has loaned that to another developer to get it working correctly under Intrepid. So, I suppose I'll just have to wait to upload those pics. Don taught me some tricks with our camera so I can take night photos, so I'm excited to see if they turned out well!

Today, I'm not sure what's on the books. I think I might wander out in the afternoon to maybe get some Czech glass for some of my favorite people, but I haven't decided yet. I'm getting braver about wandering out on my own, but still like to stick close to the hotel where I know people.

One thing that's nice. Steve and I wandered down for breakfast after loading up our laundry to be cleaned for today. I had a lovely conversation with a friend after Steve left, then got some postage stamps, sent out my postcards, and wandered back up to my room. Housekeeping's been here. The room is clean! They even organized the desks where Steve and I had just thrown things! How very sweet. I think I like hotel living. ;)

feeling: happy

So, we got the majority of the move done yesterday. And now home is the new house because that's where the cats are. And they won't leave me alone! Seriously - they're still a bit nervous about the new move, so they're all staying within sight of me - and heaven forbid if I need to potty or go into the guest room where there's a comfy chair for typing with a door closed behind me. Tinker is absolutely sure something bad is happening in there without them to watch me. Even Jazz won't stray far right now.

We still have some things in the condo, but not a lot at this point. It's all stuff that can be tossed in boxes and brought over in the Prius, so not a big concern.

We spent our first night in the house. Too tired to put the bed together at 10:30 last night when we finally finished, we just put sheets on the mattress on the floor and crashed... and woke up throughout the night to the cats knocking something else down. This house echoes something horrible! I'm going to have to get pictures up on the walls or something just to limit the echoing!

We met one of our neighbors. She's so very nice! Very sweet lady whose oldest child is my age (a couple of years older) who is a retired teacher. she was happy that we're moving in because it means no renters! ;) I'm happy we moved in because it means more space and a yard!

But, showertime. I need to get ready for the staff meeting. And then after, acupunture, then more moving. My legs HURT. But, at least it's almost over.

Oh yeah. I think after spending a chilly morning barefoot on wood floors, I have Steve convinced we need rugs. Hee. (I have slippers! Hah!)

feeling: accomplished

After yesterday's moving experience (and knowing it's not over yet!), having Steve go through the mail, come across some junk mail and ask me, with barely a hint of a smirk on his face, "Hey. Do we need movers?" is !funny.

I don't think he expected the quite forceful YES that came from me.

feeling: tired

Due to schedule conflicts, Steve and I have split up moving into 2 trips. The first trip/part was yesterday. He rented a 10' moving truck (not exactly a stroke of brilliance on his part) and we moved over appliances, several boxes, one of the coffee tables, a couple of chairs and our bookcases. I cannot explain how fun this was with the two of us. Matt joined us at the end of the evening to help us unload appliances and move our fridge in. Oh, the fridge. This was a fun experience.

Have you ever purchased a fridge? Well, I've learned a few things. We needed to purchase one. Ok, no problem. We took a load of boxes and such over to the house with the truck and decided to go fridge shopping with our moving truck. Why? Because we had it and we wouldn't need it delivered this way. Clever, eh? Hah. Before we left, I was very careful to measure the space where the fridge would live, since there are cabinets next to it, counter on the other side, and cabinets above it. Steve declared this was probably unnecessary because "it's a standard size", but I wanted to be careful. We went to Sears first, and found that they don't tend to keep fridges on hand there - they have a central warehouse, and it can take anywhere between 4 and 10 days to get one delivered. And the ones that were the right size (no, apparently, this size ISN'T standard...) could possibly take on the longer side, and we were restricted to certain models. We sighed, because 4 days from yesterday would've meant nobody would be home to let them in to deliver the fridge, we can't actually properly move in until we have a fridge there, and well, I wouldn't be around to accept delivery until Sunday (if it couldn't be today or tomorrow) at earliest - and even THEN, it would be difficult because I would be on a very serious time crunch with our concert in the middle of the day. So, after deciding that we weren't going to "settle" on a fridge that was available and convenient when we're spending upwards of $1000 or more, we decided to go to Lowe's.

...And we found one we liked. But they only had the floor model in. No worries - they'll let us take that, and give us a discount, too! So. Sweet. We bought it. Oh. Did I mention the 10' moving truck does NOT have a ramp on it? Yeah. We *lifted* the fridge into the back of the truck with a dolly. A fun experience, and just a taste for what was yet to come. We drove it over to the house and unloaded it into the garage, thinking we'd take care of it later when we bring over the other appliances. No problem! Drove the truck back to the condo to continue packing/boxing/loading/etc. I got out to direct Steve into a parking space and noticed - lo! The back door was left open for the drive! Well, it looked like nothing fell out, so we shrugged, laughed about it and went to work.

Around 6:30ish, we decided to load up what we could and head back over to the house with what we have. Hurray! Fun ensues, Steve hits his head on the bookcase that we're carrying, we're being snippy with each other over what NEEDS to go now, the cats are revolting against being shut into a room. Matt said he'd join us for a bit! More hurray! We'd get dinner after unloading everything. Even better! By about 8:30 we were on our way back to the house, I drove the Prius over this time, and parked it in the garage (my garage! My car has a garage now!). well, I had to move the fridge to park it there, but no worries. It's on wheels. Steve gets there with the truck, we unload a few things and decide it's best to try to get the fridge up the stairs while waiting for Matt. Matt arrives just in time to help us with the fridge. And that's where the fun begins.

We got the fridge on a dolly, and up the stair into the house. Ok, Steve remarks, it's quite heavy, since he's the one on the pulling end and Matt and I are on the pushing end. So, we say, "We'll take it one step at a time!" Find out, it doesn't fit through the front door. No problem! We take the door off the hinges.

It doesn't fit up the stairs. Steve took the banister off while I gave Matt a tour of the downstairs (the fridge was blocking the upstairs). We very carefully maneuver it up the stairs. Now, when I say we carefully menuevered it up the stairs, what I really mean is that Steve pulled with the fridge resting on his arms and bitching the whole time, while Matt and I would give fart-inducing burst pushes from the bottom at his command. It really was a stair at a time. And then I heard a loud, heart-wrenching CRACK. I declared, "SHIT" and looked down to see my fears confirmed. We snapped the hell out of the stair trim. I shook my head and said, "KEEP GOING!" thinking going back down would mean we'd end up snapping more than this one. And up the next stair, we snapped the next trim. Destroyed. I mean, absolutely demolished. The trim was in splinters. Now, at this point, we've been moving crap since morning, it's almost 9pm (if not after) and I'm on the verge of falling over anyway. But, Matt was there, so I kept myself as composed as I could. Up the stairs. Excellent. we can fix the trim, though it still makes me want to weep - I love those floors!

Wheel it through the hallway because one entrance to the kitchen will be easier to manage than the other entrance. Beautiful, right? So, Steve's pushing the damned thing while Matt and I are balancing it and Steve's bitching that his arms are hurting and bruised and and and... and then Matt tells him to hold on a second and frowns at the entrance to the kitchen. I'm helping balance the fridge, but look over my shoulder and almost started crying. Before he even asked, I reached into my pocket for the tape measure, and sure enough, the fridge is too wide to fit through the kitchen door.

We all stared at the door in disbelief. We measured the other entrance. Still an inch too narrow. We discussed our options. We intend to remodel the kitchen anyway - how about having our contractor come out and knock out that wall right away? But, it may be a year before we're going ahead with the remodel. Hmmm. Can we take the doors off the fridge? Not without a hex-head wrench. get another fridge? I AM NOT TAKING THAT THING DOWN MY STAIRS AND RISKING MORE TRIM!! (Guess whose veto that was.) Besides, this is the size we wanted. We shrugged and decided nothing was happening with that and moved on, moving the rest into the house.

Ok, so, the seller left his washer and dryer, but took his fridge. (Ugh!) We have a washer and, uh, 2 driers (I'm not getting into it). So, we currently have 2 washers and 2 driers in our laundry room (amazingly, they all fit and we still have room to move around in there!) and a gas dryer in our garage (no gas hook-up). Our fridge is sitting in our dining room and we have 2 dining chairs but no table over there.

It looks ridiculous. But, hey. It's a house. I'm sure in a year or so, looking back on this will be amusing. Today, I'm just so damned tired and looking at the boxes that still need packed with a sense of doom looming over my head.

Oh yes. And I was called this morning with a plea to come to work. While I'm trying to get everything scheduled for moving, contractors set up for things that need repaired, electricians working on the electrical box that needs replaced, etc. All I want to do right now is curl up and go back to sleep, but I have so much more I need to do today, and if I'm not doing that, I need to go to work. But, lessons learned from experience:

1) When buying a fridge, HAVE IT DELIVERED. Delivery fees are worth it. Then you can freak out and scream at the people getting paid if they snap your stair's trim.
2) When measuring for your fridge, MEASURE YOUR DOORS, TOO. EVERY DOOR IT HAS TO GO THROUGH. Oh yeah, and measure the height of your moving truck if you ignore #1, so you know if it'll at least fit standing up (not going to go into it).
3) Don't have the shortest-fused person doing the heavy work.
4) Don't leave the bag of paperwork needed for your new fridge in the back of the moving truck. Even if that's where everything else is.
5) Don't leave the back of the moving truck open while driving ~3 miles between locations up and down hills, lest you lose the bag of paperwork needed for your new fridge that was in the back of the moving truck because you ignored #4.
6) Know what tools you might need to take appliances apart ahead of time incase you ignore #2.
7) Just have it delivered.

feeling: tired

We returned from Iowa late last night, and I worked this morning, so I haven't had much time to really think about everything since getting back. I missed everything here for the last week - if anything of import happened that people feel I should be aware of, please please please let me know here and I'll go back and read or ponder or vote or whatever is necessary. Think of the tickeh boxes.

Christmas was lovely - I spent the entire time away from the computer and with my family and friends. I did, however, receive a Nintendo DS for Christmas, along with a copy of Brain Age, so I was obliged to get addicted and decide I like Sudoku and play for hours and run the battery down and and and, but! I still spent time with family, really. My aunt warned me to bring an extra suitcase for gifts. I shrugged and decided it'd be easiest to transport all the gifts for them in said extra suitcase anyway. Despite that, she's still shipping 2 breakable things that wouldn't fit in my luggage to me and I had to creatively pack to get everything home - including carrying on the fat cookie jar my sister in law (ok, ok, cousin in law) decided I needed along with all the treats she made to fill it. I also got a recipe um.. thing with cards of things I enjoy eating that she makes, so I can bake them myself! And I got baking supplies, because Brandi rawks. And a singing penguin, because it amused my aunt, and a stained glass penguin lamp (it really is cute, I swear) and other stuff. Like a suitcase full of other stuff. Steve got a Hawaiian shirt, which amuses me, and which he claims he'll never wear again (I did talk him into it to "be nice to everyone who thought it was a great idea - Steve can be a really good sport when he wants) and I've declared I'll claim I don't know him if he ever wears it in Europe.

The other large gift I received was from Steve (along with the DS, which was my super secret surprise Christmas gift that I accidently found shortly before we left for Iowa, oops). A new laptop. Her name will be Bastet. Skadi has had a good long life, and as much as I love her, she keeps trying to flicker and die, so, she will become a development machine, used only when needing to test on PowerPC. Bastet is a Lenovo Thinkpad with no trackpad (nipples, here I come!) and no disk drive at all (it's a scary world I'm heading into - if I need a USB one, I'll get one later). It's cute, and this evening will be spent wiping Vista and installing Ubuntu. I'm considering a ceremony, but, believe I will make due with candles and death chants.

I got to see Kathy's new house on her new acreage, and it was GORGEOUS. She has done a wonderful job with the whole thing. She has a blue guest room and a teal guest room, her bedroom is very very pretty. Her master bathroom is in a Mickey theme, her guest bathroom theme is M&Ms, her kitchen theme is Mickey parts and her Bev Doolittle and Judy Larson paintings dominate the living room. Her artroom, though. My god, that is a GORGEOUS room. Black and white tiles on the floor, each wall painted a different primary color, french doors outside, it's own sink for working, a huge closet for art supply storage and ... it's just amazing. =D Her stained glass work is featured everywhere in the house. It looks amazing. I'm so very impressed.

All 3 cats were ... delighted to see us last night, and none of them will let me be in a room by myself at all now. Apparently Pita was quite agitated that Steve and I left, and gave the pet sitter some fits. He was naughty, wouldn't be nice to her and hissed at her the whole time, apparently. He's getting old and grouchy, I fear. He's happy now, curled up and sleeping right next to me. Jazz put on weight again. Surprise. And has become quite the prolific poop machine. But he is so cute curled up on the other side of me, I have to admit.

We're talking about getting a new camera - one that takes a little better data storage than the Sony Memory Disk - an SD disk would be nice, and since my new Thinkpad has a reader, I think we'll go with that. We'll see, though. Steve thinks it's a rather frivolous use of money when we're talking about buying a house, but. Oh! House!

So, I've decided on themes for our new house's bathrooms - I now demand we must have 2 to pull this off. The first theme will be penguins, because I have way too much penguin crap stuff that will need homes. So, penguins. It will be nice. The other bathroom theme will be board games. I'm going to have fun with this! I think I'm going to paint a border around the top with the images off the monoply board game, tile the backsplash behind the sink with painted tiles to look like tiles from Settlers of Catan, etch a small checkerboard in one corner of the mirror, and in the opposite corner etch a Candyland theme, and maybe see if I can find other stuff from other board games to fill in. It'll be cool! Steve's not nearly as excited about it as I am, but I think it will kick all ass! (I'm also thinking about tiling the floor to look like a chess board - not black and white or black and red like checkers, but a couple of shades of tan or brown or blue or something, maybe ivory and white. I don't know.) Oh! And paint a chutes and ladders theme on the ceiling! (that's the part I'm not sure about).

So. Busy busy. Catch me up! What happened out there while I was gone? =D

feeling: tired

There's a decent restaurant in Beaverton called Monteaux's Public House. It... has all sorts of stuff, but I mainly like their shepherd's pie. Anyway, each month they offer a cultural cuisine feature - where they have several different dishes from whereever they decide to showcase. For instance, I remember their German-themed month, a month of Cajun-themed dishes, one month was Brazilian, another Nicaragua. Basically, for the month, they'll choose a culture, and feature key cuisines from it. Ok, it's nice. It's interesting. Well, because their menu changes on a monthly basis, I've signed up for their newsletter so I can see if they have anything interesting for the month. (Steve and I don't go there A LOT, but eh, it's pretty good food anyway.)

I opened up the newsletter I got a few days ago today, the first sentence was: December's newsletter was inspired by those rambling letters we all get from that crazy relative from out of town! We hope you enjoy!

I sighed, shared with Steve, who promptly burst into laughter, since he poked fun at me all last night for the Christmas letter thing. He declared me "inspiring" and started laughing more.

Ah well. I still had fun, but the timing is beyond amusing.

feeling: amused

So, last weekend I went to Boston/Cambridge/Plymouth, and returned on Monday. I'll go over my trip some other time and maybe upload pictures, too. But, summary: Boston is pretty. The East Coast looks WAY DIFFERENT than the Pacific Northwest. And Boston has the fattest and tamest squirrels I've ever seen in my life. Since then it seems all shit hit the fan. I went to get dinner Monday night, got to the car to find out the keyless entry wasn't working. Fortunately I could still unlock the car! Unfortunately, the car wouldn't start. It would seem the dome light switch was partially on, though the dome light wasn't lit, and I didn't catch it before I left on Friday morning, and thus, the car thought the dome light was on until Monday evening when I went to drive the car. 2 hours later, the battery was recharged and I finally got some food. Unfortunately, I found that after having traveled 13+ hours that day, then waited a couple of hours for food, and having been up at 3:30am EST and it was at that point 7pm PST, I was way too tired to eat. SO, I went to bed instead.

Tuesday was busy at work. Which is nice. Tried to talk to Steve on the phone that evening, only to find that his roommate was hanging on every word he was saying to me in the room, and when he left the room, he had to greet several people in the hallways while talking to me. I gave up having a conversation with him and just got depressedly quiet.

Wednesday was Emo Day from Hell. I didn't want to see people. I didn't want to talk to people. I didn't want to be around people. So, I decided I would make popcorn, play video games and read all day. When I went to make the popcorn, I ended up burning the last bag in the house. So, I had to trek out to get more. It wasn't *that* bad, all things considered, though it was annoying to be greeted by chipper people. Got some clarinet practice in.

Thursday was work and HELL. We had way too much going on for the staff we had, but we managed. Everything worked out. Got home and practically passed out.

Friday was work and CONFUSING Doctor on duty was sick. Another doctor covered. It was ... almost chaotic, but we prevailed and managed to get a few things accomplished as well. Steve sent me flowers with a ... rather dorky card,and very much sweet. My coworkers think he's a sweetheart (he has them snowed), and one stormed off declaring her boyfriend is a butthead. I just laughed. Quintet rehearsal was good, though. We're sounding /really/ good. I have a few... concerns, but I'd rather just let them ruminate in my head rather than worry about everything getting back to whoever and having Drama over what should be a very relaxing and fun activity.

Saturday was work and HELL. Again, way too many appointments for the staff we had, but ... we barely managed. I'm exhausted. But, at least Steve came home last night, which made matters a bit better. I had hoped to get the place cleaned and such before he got home, but all I had time for was a lightening run. We grabbed a quick meal out (Ruby Tuesdays) because I simply didn't have the energy to cook - especially since all I'd had to eat all day long was 2.5 donuts. He does genuinely seem happy to be home. We haven't bickered at all, and he seems a lot happier. Well, kinda grumpy today, but that's his own fault. He played video games instead of getting lunch, then was dragged out for a walk. His fault, I say. And I said. And he agreed, while grumbling. ;)

Today has just been relaxation, which has been beyond nice. Steve and I went for a walk (we'll just ignore the waking up at 4:30 this morning remembering something I forgot at work, and rushing in at 8am to fix it because I couldn't get my mind off it) in the afternoon and played video games practically all day. I made a very yummy dinner, and all seems to be getting back to normal.

Tomorrow is work. My foot hurts so... so very badly. I may just stay for surgery and beg forgiveness and go home after surgery. The pain is almost unbearable and after 3 days in a row of being on my feet without breaks, I really would like a day with my feet up and maybe iced. My acupuncturist thinks it might be plantar fasciitis, and I have an appointment with a doctor on Tuesday afternoon to get it checked out. We'll see. But, I'm barely weight bearing right now, so I think something needs to be done before something bad happens. But, we'll see. I'll talk to the hospital manager tomorrow. I doubt it'll be an issue, and I'm positive someone will help cover for me if need be.

I'm glad things are finally getting back to normal. Steve's home. We're making plans for our trip to Iowa for Christmas, and I think things are settling down.

I have goals!

This week, my goal is to only eat out twice. I'll get this eating out problem nipped in the bud, I swear it! I made a lovely dinner tonight with a low-fat, light parmesean chicken breast (parmesean cheese, bread crumbs, oregano, lemon juice and garlic), green beans and a RiceARoni box (yes, I know, but it's better than eating out, and it's easy. Right now, easy wins over eating out). We've both been packing on a few pounds from eating out so much and not getting much exercise. Unfortunately, going on walks means right now we're limited to the neighborhood because parks close before I get off work (and before his workday is finished). So, weekends we'll get some nice long walks in. I have Taekwondo on Wednesdays, and we'll just have to figure something else out for the rest of the week. Small goals, though. Babysteps. We'll make it. I know we will.

I haven't disappeared. I've just been crazy busy and tired (and a bit emo). Sleep is calling me, I fear. And I think I should answer.

feeling: tired, but thankful

This year, despite a few bouts of depression, a few *really* bad spats with the husband and Yet Another Changing in Job, I think has, overall been good.

My weight has been up, which isn't a good thing, but I've finally decided to handle it - to work on it. Not wishing I would, or simply wanting to, but I've been making motions to actually *do* something. I joined a Taekwondo class. I adore the instructor. She teaches well, and she teaches to *me* - she doesn't shout for me to get my knee up if it's not comfortable to do that. She makes me want to work on things to better my techniques, to better MYSELF, not simply to do it because she's shouting at me to do it. It makes all the difference in the world. I'm feeling a little better. My balance is coming back to center again. I'm able to focus myself and my energy a lot better again. And, strange of all, I'm applying theories and techniques learned in Aikido to what I'm doing in Taekwondo. It's... kinda cool. (When you know how to focus your ki, and you have the mindset of not colliding, but redirecting energies, it's amazing how much *stronger* your kicks become. You're still colliding, but, your control over the ki is much... more precise. It's ... amazing.) I'm now at the point that I *want* to work on things outside of class. I bought a book from her to actually be able to work on forms out of class since to learn them, I need more practice than one lesson a week. It's... exciting. Seriously.

I found a way to get reinvolved in music, and I love it. I've become part of a woodwind quintet that will hopefully have a performance coming up next month (a short, low-key performance, but! Playing in front of people again!) I remember what I was told by a coworker at the last place I worked - that she didn't believe I'd ever play again, especially like I used to. She knew what she was talking about, too, because she played flute when in high school (/sarcasm). Pooey on her. The people I'm playing with are amazing, and are bringing out the best in me again. I'm practicing a little more regularly and *loving* it. My tone is slowly coming back to what it was, I'm back on a 3 1/2 size reed (Grand Concert Premieres, of course) and my technique is slowly improving (again). I'm only a shade of what I formerly was, but, that's more than I was last year. I'm /playing/ again. My clarinet is becoming an extension of me again. It's great.

My job. I've had multiple talks with one of the vets I work with that I don't want my job to define who I am. I love animals. I really do. I've worked hard to get to where I am, and I know I have a lot further to go before I get to where I want to go. I *will* be a career technician, but likely one that specializes, and possibly teaches. I love what I do, I love who I work with and I love the hospital I'm at. I agree with (most) of our policies, I appreciate almost all of our procedures. I trust all my coworkers. My office manager is appreciative of me, and tells me regularly. I know I'm being molded into a leadership position, and I've finally stopped fighting it. It's... scary, but I've also seen some really scary head techs. I've also seen an *amazing* head tech, and I fear she's too few and far between. So, I almost feel like I *need* to step into the leadership role to ensure they have something more like what I've had rather than what I know they (we) could get. Not that I'm a lesser of two evils, but I can protect them from the evils. So many things that go on there I could blog about, but, I choose not to simply because I don't think it's terribly safe to really let loose about your employer in any online forum despite how "protected" and "locked" it is. Even though I wouldn't have a lot of rants, there would be a few, and it's just not professional - and it endangers my job and my clinic's reputation. Eh. It doesn't need to be saved off for possibly everyone to read in the future.

But, back to my point. I don't want to be "just a vet tech". I have other passions. I have other loves. They don't define me, I know, but they are a part of me, and I'm finally expressing them all and balancing them. Sometimes it feels stressful to balance them, (it really is only work, taekwondo, music, Steve and my cats, but still!) but it's so worth it.

This year has been about finding me. Finding my center. And listening to what my body tells me. I'm pleased to see this now, and not to have to wait until the start of next year to be thankful for it all.

I am Patty. I work as a certified veterinary technician. I play clarinet well. I enjoy practicing taekwondo. I like to read. I can knit. I have 3 cats that I adore. My husband, as stubborn and frustrating as he can be, does love me and I love him even though we fight and bicker. I'm not defined by any one of these things - I'm not even defined by all of them, there's so much more to me. Maybe someday I'll define myself, but for now, I'm content allowing myself to explore and soar. Definitions seem so... final. I'm not ready to be finalized yet.

feeling: contemplative

I have gone on strike. Well, kinda. I'm sick of eating out, and as such, I have declared I will be making dinners at /least/ 4 times a week from here on out. I'm out of shape. I'm tired of spending time in restaurants. I'm tired of not having a *homecooked* meal at all. Between me working (and being too tired to make dinner after work) and Steve too arrogant to spend his time making dinner, we've been eating out each night for the last couple of months. It /sucks/. I'm tired of it. The first week, it wasn't so bad. The second week wasn't even that bad. But now? I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of classifying what I want to eat based on geographical ethnicity.

I went to the store today (my day off) and came home with food to make 3 different meals. 1 of them for multiple lunches, but we'll see. Tonight, was beef stroganoff, which I forgot doesn't have cream of chicken soup in it. So... it was a ... different ... beef stroganoff. It was still good, but not quite up to my standards. And, it figures. The first meal I actually get around to cooking in the last month and it leads to complaints that it's not as good as it should be (because I screwed up).

Very irritating, but, I'll cope, I'm sure. Tomorrow will be pork chops (after work). We'll see how well that goes. I'm going to make it a goal to at least cook 4 meals in the next week. Tonight was 1. I have enough stuff to make 2 more meals, and I can probably squeeze another out of other ingredients I have around. So, like I said, we'll see.

I also stopped by the swim center and got my membership, so hopefully I'll get this fat ass in shape. I'm tired of being a Fatty McFatFat, and dieting alone won't work for me since I fall out of it too easily. Curves was great, but I've just gotten bored with it. Hopefully I won't get bored with swimming. We'll see, once again. I have a 3 month membership, and if I keep up with it over that period of time, I'll get an annual membership. It'd be nice to get rid of MegaArms and Thunder Thighs.

Yawn.

feeling: tired

This last week I've been somewhat helping my beloved husband with the inherited Debian booth at OSCon in between work days and hours. Despite lacking in sleep at the moment - I've been a little deprived since Sunday, I've had the pleasure of meeting new people in the open source community as well as greeting acquaintances and new friends. It actually... amazes me... how many people I know in this community /around here/, or at least who travel to the area for such things and I 1) remember and 2) am happy to see. (Tom, you'll always be a pleasure to drink with! Jeff, I miss you again already! And Bruno, I'll remember you by your smile and name, I promise - not by the flag you wear around your shoulders - but thank you for doing that, had you not, I would likely not have approached you to ask why you were wearing a Brazilian flag!) Meeting and drinking with Brad Fitzpatrick was interesting. He's a pretty laid back and nice guy. I swore he was taller, though that may have been in part due to the wine consumption - perhaps my impression is a bit foggy. ;) I believe Steve set out with BDale's plan to make the Debian booth about *community* and *people*, and... I think it was very largely successful. While we didn't necessarily have a lot of people at the booth at once yesterday, I hear that today, there were a lot of people there just talking and generally enjoying each other's company (largely in part to, I'm sure, Keith Packard emerging from work duty rounds!) The Sun party last night was a lot of fun, guys. I really enjoyed myself, and don't think I've laughed that much in a long, long time. (And, Mark, I'm still not convinced I have the biggest smile in Debian - perhaps we should have some sort of contest to see who does?)

But, my life hasn't just been about beer and brownies. I've also had work responsibilities - which, nicely, are very few outside of work. I did use some of my time off yesterday (I claimed the hours) to work on the schedule for the tech (nursing) staff. I, personally, think I did a good job with this one, and managed to make everyone happy (I think). But, I was getting ready to return to work after my lunch hour (I just spent in the breakroom with a book as I normally do), when I was hunted down by the hospital manager (think: Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny) and presented with a nice card and a box of chocolates to *thank me* and show appreciation for my hard work, dedication and ability to calmly handle everything that's been happening lately. It was.. unexpected. Had I not been sleep deprived and unable to think clearly, I would have likely offered up the chocolates to the rest of the nurses and insisted we all had a hand in keeping order and thanked her, but... well, I thanked her, floored and taken quite aback, and put the chocolates in my bag for personal consumption later.

It was ... /so/ ... the right choice. I haven't had chocolates this good in a long, long, LONG time. And while I've been raised to share with everyone around and to be generous, there's only so much kindness one can show when faced with something this delicious. Sorry, Kathy. I know you'd be disappointed to know I'm being greedy with my chocolate, but /damn/. Bernard Callebaut is... simply amazing. I've never had anything that's melted in my mouth quite like this before, and I fear Steve's now going to be stuck when he needs to purchase chocolates for one reason or another. If you happen to be near one of their locations, check them out - you won't be sorry!

But, general social life plus some amazing chocolates. Now if I could just get some sleep, I'd be one happy girl.

P.S.
Switched back to Debian. Multiple Desktops, transparent tool bars and Turny Bally Game make life grand. Skadi seems to be much happier now, too. She doesn't seem to freak out as much.

feeling: tired, but content

Steve and I celebrated our 6th Wedding Anniversary yesterday, though after some discussion, we joked about having 2 anniversaries - one on the day we decided we were a couple, and one on the day we were formally married. We always seem to miss the first date, and the latter, well, we almost missed this year - or at least Steve did until I asked him what we were doing and his response was, "Let's go see a movie!" And I stared at him, and he looked at the calendar, and he said, "Oooooooooh. *This* weekend..." and proceeded to wait unitl Saturday to decide anyway. Oh well.

Unfortunately, I had to work, but such is life. I did end up getting half the day off, so Steve and I wandered around the Lake Oswego Farmer's Market, got lunch, bought berries, and then wandered homewards for him to get some work done and me to quietly read. (He desparately needed his time, and... I understand. So, I gave him a little while longer, then demanded his attention.) We ate at a lovely little Persian restaurant downtown and had a couple glasses of Plum Wine over dessert at home. Then, we talked. It's just so nice to lay back, cuddle and *talk*, and we rarely have the time to do that anymore. Lots of things, the future, our plans, our hopes, potential job offers.

It's interesting how we're here today. We've now known each other for 11 years - friends first and always. It's very comfortable and very comfort*ing*. Although we have our spats, and we usually take out irritations and frustrations on each other, we really do think in terms of "we", not "I" or "him/her". I like it. I don't feel alone when we're this close. I don't feel as though I have so much to take on myself. I know he's there to help me - to support me however he can, and it's the same the other way around. If he needs me, I don't hestitate to be there for him.

I love Steve with all my heart, and he loves me every bit as much. We make a great team, and I know we'll be even better next year.

feeling: happy

After a bit of drama missing our plane in London, and getting on stand-by for a plane to PDX from Houston, we've safely made it home. Well, we made it home Monday night, but I pretty much passed out as soon as I could, then worked all day yesterday and passed out shortly after getting home from work.

It was a fun trip, all told. I had the opportunity to visit some places I would never have had the opportunity without friends (Stonehenge and Cambridge - could someone point me towards the university, please?). I tried sausage and mash, but strayed away from the haggis. I reconnected with friends I haven't seen for 3 years, and joked with friends who live just a few miles from me, but only ever see when we cross oceans for DebConf. I danced on a sprained ankle (only a waltz!) and lost my keys somewhere along the way. So, my keys are still on vacation without me, and it cost Steve about $300 altogether to replace them all (Toyota keys are expensive to replace). So, if anyone sees my keys out there living it up in Scotland, please kindly tell them it's time to come home.

But, now, I'm home and loving on my kitties and enjoying the fresh Portland air through our windows.

Pictures have been uploaded to my gallery site. I have pictures of DebConf, though not a lot. Pictures of Wales and England (including Stonehenge!). And pictures of the civil union ceremony for Daniel and Rob.

It was a great trip, but as always, I'm glad to be home. I love my friends, but there's just something about seeing Mt Hood through the plane window that makes me tear up and feel welcome back here. Mmmm. It's good to be back, even if our condo is a pit at the moment. =)

feeling: travelly

Went to Daniel Silverstone's civil union ceremony in Wales. Now he has a husband, too! He finally understands my pain! This trip required a short plane trip from Edinburgh to some small airport in Wales, where we rented a 7-passenger van for the 6 of us plus our luggage, then a 3 hour drive to the coast (Solva) where we stayed at Bed and Breakfasts until the next morning where we drove to London via Stonehenge. For those not in the UK, From Solva to London, going via Stonehenge is Not Normal (apparently).

But! I got to see Stonehenge! It was cool, but unfortunately it's a mystery, and one nobody knows about, and it's something I'm not going to figure out in the few minutes I had to look it over, so it frustrates me. However, I have pictures, but I haven't uploaded them and I need to shower then sleep so I can make an early flight and not want to kill people. We'll see how well that works out. So, I suppose I should start insisting the geeks in Steve McIntyer's living room find suitable geek space so I can force Steve to get some rest so we aren't snapping at each other tomorrow morning.

I'm so very tired, and as much fun as I've had, I'm really looking forward to getting home to my bed and my kitties.

Oh. Yeah. Lost my keys somewhere between PDX and here. Hopefully they're at home. =/

feeling: exhausted

We arrived Saturday. It was nice and misty, perfect weather, really. Tired, but after some rest and food, all was good. Sunday, I asked what was going on with the Day Trip only to find out that the local team had given up on the prospect because there was no sponsorship available for it, and thus, they believed nobody would want to go (everyone would have to pay out of pocket). Well, I asked for ideas of what *I* could do on the traditional day trip day that Steve and I could steal away and enjoy Scotland for a little while. I was given ideas, and thought, "well, why can't we let more people come, too?"

So, I requested BoF time to discuss this with a few other people at the conference. There was interest in the ideas presented - especially one idea, going to The Isle of Bute. Well, with this in mind, I decided to make a general announcement on the mailing list, including the price (about 20 GBP per person for travel only).

I received a rather overwhelming response. This was Sunday. Moray and I discussed how we could do this, and started stressing - it looked like about 30 people were interested. But, no worries. As long as it stayed under 50, it was going to be easy to manage on short notice with no planning. We decided to collect monies from people interested so we could purchased their tickets while we gathered information on the best way to get there, and what would be the best idea once we arrived, then how to get back.

By the time I went to bed on Monday (way too late, honestly), I had 107 confirmed people for the day trip - 107 people /who had paid/ and followed the instructions I'd sent in the announcement email, and I knew a few more people were still interested even though they hadn't paid. I spoke with Neil McGovern about purchasing tickets, and we spent time trying to find a better alternative than taking a train to the coast - now we knew we were in trouble. We were looking at taking 120 people across the country and needed a sane way to do it.

During the day, we had a few people trickling in with more interest, but they either didn't understand the instructions in the email, didn't read the instructions in the email or simply didn't think the instructions in the email applied to them. So, I upped my count to 130 and added a sign-up sheet for people to get extra tickets on a first come, first served basis.

After much stressing, Neil came back with the hearbreaking news that we couldn't get coach buses on this short of notice. We were back to plan 1 of using the train system, and started building contingency plans on that - breaking the group into a couple of smaller groups; sending one a little earlier than the other, etc. But, I kept thinking back to our daytrip in Brazil, and how well that worked out despite the short notice and so forth. We would make this work. We had to.

Neil left for the train station to purchase the tickets. I remained behind the answer questions and look positive for everyone, even though my faith was wavering with each passing hour that Neil didn't return. More and more people signed up on the sign-up sheet, and we ended up topping 140 between those who had paid and those who had not, but wished to get one of the extra tickets. I managed to get the news to Neil that we needed *150* tickets, and he nearly fainted.

He returned, after having apparently stressed the Train People out and setting a record at Waverly Station for the most tickets sold in a single transaction. We now had *152* tickets. AND IT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH. However, the last 2 tickets were easy to work with. We did have a few restrictions on the 152 tickets - travel time restrictions - we were not allowed to travel during peak travel times - and we had to travel in groups of four since we were using FAMILY PASSES. Yes, Debian is apparently a family, and somehow, I'm the mom.

Now came the fun of imparting this information to the masses, ensuring they understood the information and were going to follow the instructions, and get everyone there and back with the very little planning we had.

We asked people to organize into groups of four and appoint a leader for their group. The leader was charged with the safety of the group - getting to the island and returning to Edinburgh and was given 3 UK phone numbers where Moray, Kevin and I could be reached in the event of an emergency. Steve helped figure out what to do and organize the chaos when handing out the tickets. ... And we managed to get them handed out in just a few hours. It worked amazingly well.

The next morning was Wednesday and we met early to get to the train station, then away. Noodles, Steve, Aigars, broonie and I took up the rear to help answer questions and direct people as needed - in both directions.

The island was beautiful, and it turns out there were no known issues. I know some people had hoped for more of a *forced* group activity, and some people had hoped for less travel, and some people yet had hoped for more individual options. In other words, there was no way to please all of them, and I accept that.

At first, I thought this was a thankless, hard job. And, hard it is. Absolutely. However, I've received such an outpouring of gratitude and appreciation from most of the attendees that I honestly feel my hard work was worth it. It paid off, and I believe they all had a chance to relax, enjoy each others' company and *have fun*. And sleeping until noon today I'm sure is helping my disposition on the whole thing.

Would I do this again? In a heartbeat, I'd just like more than 2 days of warning. I think a month or two should be sufficient, and never again will I be naive enough to believe it'll only be a couple dozen people. I now realize I need to plan for at /least/ 150, and I think, the next one will be closer to 200. Phew.

But! Pictures of the Isle of Bute at my gallery site!

And now, I get french lessons from Christian Perrier - probably the only person who can talk me into trying French. ;)

feeling: tired

We leave La Coruña tomorrow, but today is our last day of staying at the gymnasium in the Universidade with the rest of the conference attendees. So, after I got up, I did the respectful thing of folding up our sleeping bags and mattresses, getting our shit organized and mostly packed, and otherwise preparing to leave. Steve, however typed at his laptop and bitched that I was doing that instead of showering and eating breakfast - I pointed out we had a huge mess where we were sleeping and it needed to get /done/. I got ready to head to the shower and Steve decided to pack up his laptop and head over "to get breakfast", which naturally consists of getting orange juice, some muffins and sitting at his laptop and typing some more.

...Which left /ME/ to fucking finish packing my stuff PLUS HIS *AND* tote *all* of our shit (minus his laptop) over to the building where we were having breakfast, since our hostel services are no longer available at the gymnasium. So, I get here, and before I can put shit down and get some juice (and chocolate so I'm calm enough to fucking TALK to him instead of YELLING at him in front of everyone), he demands to know if I got everything packed, because he seems to be the only person at this conference who it wasn't clear to that we needed to move our shit out of the gym. I informed him that it would be wise to not speak to me until I've had chocolate.

So, the thoughtful, considerate husband that I have, decided to follow me around while I was getting my juice and chocolate, repeating himself over and over and over and over again until I finally responded before I was forced to punch him in the neck.

I'm angry and on the verge of crying. And there's not a damned thing I can say or do to point out what an ASSHOLE he was being because of all the people here - it's not fair to them. Though, with as angry as I am, I doubt any of them would understand a single word I said since i tend to talk pretty damned fast when angry.

ETA:
After typing up this rant, I went on a walk to calm my nerves a little. I got back, and he approached me again, asking, and I quote, "Are you still pissy with me?" to which I responded, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am." and I proceeded to very quietly and calmly enumerate the reasons why I was irritated. He doesn't seem to understand *why* I'm mad - he keeps insisting I'm angry for things he didn't know about. Which is bullshit. He could have been a little more respectful and considerate and *helped* me instead of sitting in ANOTHER BUILDING TYPING ON HIS LAPTOP AFTER HE ATE HIS BREAKFAST. I pointed that out, and he informed me I should have *walked over here* to get him, then *walked all the way back over there* to pack up our crap and *come back over here* so I can get breakfast and juice. Yeah, fuck that. I told him, "yes, I'm still angry with you, and I'm going to continue being angry with you until you apologize."

His response? "Have fun with that today." and he walked off.

Yeah. On the verge of tears again.

And let me tell you how much I love to see him joking and "being funny" with people online after he's acted like that towards me. I really mean nothing to him. At all.

Like when we got lost in the metro system underground in Barcelona - and I was getting clearly frustrated and tired of walking all over with our luggage and my heavy bag which was cutting into my shoulder (seriously, I have wounds), I kept my mouth shut. I didn't say anything. Seriously. He asked me a question and, yes, my reply was short and clipped - but that's all it was. So, he goes off on me for being a bitch and insists he's never going to take me out of the country again. This is what happens *after* I keep everything that was going through my mind to myself - didn't say a word - didn't go off on him about how we were walking in circles, about how tired I was, about how I didn't think this trip was a good idea /in the first place/, about how both of us were fairly sleep deprived, about how we were running low on time to get to the aiport, about how we could take a fucking taxi and have it over with, about how for a "vacation" this was turning into a pretty miserable experience for me... Nothing. I didn't say a word. I didn't even say anything after he called me a bitch and informed me he was never taking me out of the country again.

No, my only response was, "That was a very cold thing to say considering I haven't said *anything* that's been on my mind for the last hour, despite how much I wanted to." and didn't say another word to him.

This sucks, considering a week ago, I was singing his praises. And today? I'm wondering what it would take to get on a plane here and head back home without him.

feeling: angry

We're in Barcelona. We've been here a few hours, but had to wander to our hotel, where I refused to leave until I had a hot shower and a nap. Steve tried to argue. I woke up a couple hours later to find him snoring beside me - and then subsequently told when he didn't wake up for a couple more hours, that it was all my fault because I took a nap. Mmmhmmm. I just smiled and nodded.

My right ear still hasn't equalized since we landed - about 12 hours ago. I've taken sudafed. I've taken a hot shower. I've stretched. I've yawned. And it sucks. Hopefully it'll equalize overnight. this is irritating. I can't hear *anything* in my right ear at the moment, so trying to listen carefully to softly-spoken Catalan in a restaraunt is not... fun.

Tomorrow we do the tourist thing.

Interesting notes about Barcelona:

1. Everything is uphill. Everything. Even when you're returning after having spent your entire leg energy going uphill, you still have to go uphill. It's amazing. I think Escher designed this city.
   
2. You will be pushed out of the way on the Metro. Seriously. Or run over by someone's luggage. It does not pay to be polite - and if you're polite and courteous, that marks you as a tourist. - Or at least as someone from the US midwest.
   
3. If someone smiles at you on the Metro, it's probably because they're in the process of trying to pick your pocket.
   
4. Where the hell can you just /buy some water/?
   
5. Holy crap - motorcycles. They will run you down.
   
6. Food is good here! Hurrah!
   
7. BBC on Telly \o/
   
8. People /can/ be nice here, too. If you earnestly /try/ to speak in Spanish (or Catalan, in Steve's case), people really will try to help you.
   

feeling: tired

Huh. Interesting things happen when Etch releases.

...The bed gets made. I asked why. Steve paused and responded, "I don't know... I think because Etch released."

feeling: amused

So, before I went to bed, I pouted at Steve that I didn't get any jelly beans for Easter this year.

I got up this morning to find jelly beans in my glasses case, chocolate on my laptop, and more chocolate on the sofa where I normally sit. Wandered around a bit, and found a vase of tulips on the dining room table. They're /gorgeous/.

All I have to say is 'awwwwww'.

feeling: loved

So, apparently, this nasty cold has made its way around Portland, and I seem to be the last to contract it. It's been awful. Coughing fits that last several minutes, until I'm gasping for breath and/or vomit. Stuffed nose, but when it isn't stuffed (either from the psuedoephederine my GYN was so kind as to prescribe for me or the nasal dam releasing), the amount of snot that runs down my throat or upper lip, though disgusting, is quite impressive. My throat is raw and sore from coughing, my chest is feeling the same way, and my head is so congested that I can barely hear normal conversation. It's sad. Yes, Valentine's Day was full of Steve bringing me cup after cup of cough medicine and holding me while I cough up little pink-splotched mucus strings. Now, if that isn't love, I don't know what is.

I stayed home from work on Monday. My annual was Tuesday, and I went to work *early* because they called and were in a frenzy about how busy it was - and oh my god, I have to be there, and so on. Had acupuncture yesterday (which is my 3rd session! I let her acupuncture my ears! I didn't let her get anywhere near my nose, though, which she was eyeing), and decided at the last minute to go to work (against the acupuncturists advice). I left early yesterday because of how incredibly *horried* I felt. Got home, watched some TV (annoyed that it was hard to hear), ate some take-out Chinese and passed out. Woke up a couple of times to a coughing fit, and passed out from exhaustion.

I'm starting to feel better today. I'm still wiped out, but at least, I'm not coughing every few minutes. My head hurts from all the coughing. It's annoying. But, anyway. Through all of this, I woke up today, trying to figure out how I'm going to get some stuff at work done today with how busy it's been lately - and trying to figure out my new schedule. I'm going to be moving to days coming up - probably 10am-6pm, but the trade-off is going to be I either have to work Friday nights (2pm-9pm) or Saturdays. I hands-down declared I'll take Friday nights, but have to figure out *how* I'm going to. they /need/ more people in the morning on Friday, but there's no way I can go in at 10am and stay until 10pm or later (yes, I know I said 9pm. You have to know the doc I work with on Fridays) without 1) going into overtime or 2) going insane.

As I figure it, they need more people Monday and Friday mornings (Monday is LT's day off and Friday is LH's day off, so they're shorted on those two days for surgeries and such). I figure if Monday I go in at 10am and leave at 5 or 6, depending on the schedule, then T-Th I can go in at 11 and leave at 5 or 6 (depending on the schedule). And /Friday/ come in at 11, and hopefully get out of there at 9pm, but a little later won't *kill* me. And, hopefully, coming in at 11 will be fine enough. I hope. I really don't want to have to work Saturdays. =(

Of course, if the new schedule just /isn't/ working, and the boss isn't willing to have me go into overtime *every single week*, then I suppose I could declare it's time to hire another part-timer. They've been extremely receptive to most suggestions I've made (Digital Radiography and completely restructuring the surgery suite being the only exceptions), so it probably wouldn't take much.

The plague has made it hard for me to think straight. =(

feeling: sick